Day 8 - Someone Who has Treated You Bad

Out of 7 of my working years, my boss at Zions was the only HUGE BIOTCH! HAhaha..I seriously have loved every job I've had. Loved all my bosses. Cept her. But she would yell at everyone and threaten jobs, leave the office for 4 hours straight to go christmas shopping, I blogged about her yankee swap gift exchange crap, she would talk crap to me about other people...to other people about me. Pull me in her office and chat for an hour about pregnancy and then get ticked when production was down...yeah... so I decided to peace out and start a family.

Day 7 - Someone Who has made your Life worth Living

Josh was the total knight in shining armor when I met him. I was dating a loser and Josh told me to stop seeing him completely if I was going to start hanging out with him, at all. I was pretty shocked when he said that, and to tell you the truth...I didn't even like Josh that much. I'd been praying for a way out and this was my chance. I remember that we were on the phone when he gave me the ultimatum. He was shopping at Smiths, and I was at work. He said he would remove himself right now before he got emotionally attached, and said to call him back when I made my decision. I had made the decision already on the phone with him, but I waited like 10 minutes to make it seem like I thought about it :P. I wanted Josh as a friend for sure, so that's how it started.

Day 6 - Something you Hope you Never have to Do

I hope I never have to go to my own child's funeral. Biggest overwhelming fear.

Day 5 - Something you Hope to do

*Yeah, I fell off the wagon. I didn't say it would be 30 consecutive days. But seeing my girl Sarah posting her 30 day challenge reminds me to continue mine. Although mine has been...still lame.

I hope to travel to Europe with Josh someday. I hope to always be able to live within my means. I hope I teach Kai & Roe important things, about church, money, credit, and priorities. I hope I always strive to keep my marriage strong and fresh. I hope we are something cool as a family for halloween.

day 4 - Something You Need to Forgive Someone For

I need to forgive Taylor. Sometimes I still think about what a stupid moron he is. And how he didn't think or care about how anyone else would be affected. I always hope that Josh was able to separate the 2 events in his mind, so that when he thinks back to Kaius' birth, he doesn't think of Taylor's death. Plus, we stayed awake until 2 or 3 AM talking/Josh grieving the night before I was induced (I didn't need to grieve yet, I was just pissed). Josh had to leave me in the hospital with brand new Kaius to go to the funeral. I was supportive of Josh going, but pissed that this death was no accident. It was controlled.

But you know what, I need to forgive him. I shouldn't judge him. I do not know exactly what he was going through. I have no idea what it feels like for my spouse to tell me I suck and leave me, and then find out they're pregnant (that would be extra crazy in my case).

Day 3 - Something you need to Forgive Yourself for

I don't think I have anything here for Day 3, but Amanda said something about yesterdays, how it wasn't about ME.

Right now is a time in my life where I feel like I'm not passionate about anything. I change diapers, make dinners, and do laundry. I don't create things. I am not in the best shape, so I don't dance super well, yet. I like lots about me but I can't think of something I LOVE. I love my hair, I guess. I don't think every girl wants the kind of hair they don't have ;).

Update on our car break-in:
Josh saw one of the kids that ran away had something in his arms. Tonight Josh was out playing with Kaius and they spotted a black backpack (couldn't be seen at night)on the side of the road with some car jacking tools inside. The kid I'm sure thought he was being followed and just threw it. Which means all day they didn't come back here to see if it was still there. Which means Josh scared the living crap out of them.

Day 2 - Something you Love about Yourself

I love my choice of husband.

He is also the type of person to have confidence sky-high, but he seems to always surprise me when he stops and tries to do something to make my life better or try to change to be a better husband. He searched a long time for a wife and I think that made him an even more awesome husband. When I first met him, I thought he was a total Me Monster. Well, he still kind of is sometimes (and he can admit it) but I know his intentions. For example, when we were first dating, he came over to my house and my roommate and I were trying to hang a picture in our kitchen. She and I started hammering the nail in and he snatched the hammer out of my hands and said "Oh I'll do it" and he just took over. Me and my roommate looked at each other like he was nuts. But now that I know him, looking back, all he was trying to do was be a gentleman.
OK, cheesefest over.

30 Days of Truth

I've never done a "challenge" style blog-a-thon thing-a-ma-jig before.. But my blog is lame-o lately.


Day #1
Something you hate about yourself:

Hmmm...well I don't really hate anything about myself. I always say "I'm awesome" and yada yada but honestly, I don't think I'm better than anyone else ('cept, like, hitler, really) but I love myself for choices I've made. I haven't always loved myself. Howeva, If I could change something about me, I would change how I'm kindova prude in the bedroom. [Wow, TMI?] But really, looking at the Kama Sutra shouldn't make me blush. I've been married three and a frickin' half YEARS!!

People Make Me Crazy!!!!

Either you can buy your kids' shoes BRAND NEW at Zappos with free shipping (& free return shipping...)


Or


Buy them "pre-owned" on eBay with crusty insides for $27.50 and No Returns accepted. This is the seller's decription: " THESE SHOES ARE IN GOOD USED PLAY CONDITION. THEY HAVE NO STAINS, RIPS, HOLES OR TEARS. THEY HAVE BEEN WASHED AND CLEANED. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL ME."
Honestly, you can get these for $25 at any mall. Guess the "Auction Style" really makes people feel like they've won.

Kaius is being so Cute today!

or "tyoot" as he pronounces it. I gotta do an update post about the K-Man.

This little boy would LIVE outside if we let him. Every time he has to come inside or get inside the car, I'm pretty sure a little piece of him dies. At least he acts like it.
He is obsessed with any kind of bike, car, or truck. Of course he is still obsessed with balls. Balls are his #1 priority.
He will look at any oblong shape and say "football". Its the cutest thing ever.
Today Monroe and Kaius were looking and each other and smiling. I said to Roe, "He likes you! Do you like her, Kaius?" and he said "I wite you" and hugged her. Which was probably his first sentence ever, but so cute.
Then I said "Do you love her?" and he said "I wuv you". I died from the cuteness.
He pronounces Monroe: Roe Roe.
bopple=apple
bopper=diaper
gucky= a form of gross, Josh says "ucky" but Kaius made up gucky
coors=cars
mamaw=grandma
pampa=grandpa
He makes a "t" sound instead of a "ck" sound..just like my little brother Matthew. I was "his Tarly" for years...but now he is a grown up 4th grader and is too cool ;).
Kaius is a man's man. If he has a choice between a man and a woman (like if I leave him with grandparents, or we have friends over) he will almost always go to the man. He loves babies.
Candy is currency.
Anything with a wrapper, he thinks its candy. Like...tampons, condoms...he is very disappointed when he finds out its not (by me telling him, not by him getting them open, ps.).
Almost every time we go to the park we are told by someone that Kaius is very coordinated for his age. He jumps with both feet and lands with both feet. He can throw balls pretty far, and sometimes he can catch. He even likes watching football. I'm so burnt out on football, I hope Monroe will be interested in shopping with me instead of watching football!

Well, that's about all I can think of. The end.

Phrases I don't like

"Everything happens for a reason"
What does that even mean? I have always wondered. Why do people believe this?

Well, literally, yes everything happens for a reason. The reason someone gets hit by a train, is because...they were in front of a train.
But people tend to use this phrase in situations like...they didn't get a house they put an offer on, people often give this "advice" to couples struggling with infertility (LAST thing they want to hear, PS) (edited to say, I can't speak for ALL people struggling with infertility..just the ones who have told me this), not getting a job you interviewed for, etc.

No, you didn't get that job you interviewed for because they felt someone else was better for it. If you sleep through your alarm on your way to work doesn't mean if you woke up on time you would have gotten in a car wreck.

Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?

Take 9/11 terrorist attack for example. All those stories of people that were sick that day, slept through their alarm, etc and weren't at the World Trade Center that day and therefore didn't die....They weren't supposed to die, but everyone else who was responsible and showed up WERE supposed to? Puh-lease.

I believe God gives us blessings. Many blessings. Especially when we keep his commandments. But our lives are NOT determined. Yes, God knows what is going to happen but that doesn't mean you can coast through life. You gotta grab the bull by the balls, so to speak. If you want something, go get it. "Oh, I didn't get the job I wanted. Guess it wasn't meant to be. I'll just hold a little ceasars sign on the sidewalk." Can I get an AMEN?
Edited to add one more example...WARNING, its a sad example. How about stillbirth, due to doctor error? What reason did that happen for?? Maybe I'm just looking into it too literally, but if my baby passed away and I knew it was because of the doctor, I couldnt brush it off and say "Oh, these things happen for a reason."


"Never regret anything, because at the time it was something you wanted."
Yeah, at the time, you were also a big dumb idiot! Or just inexperienced with life, is a better way to put it, I guess?
People who say they never regret things [seem to be] the type of people that don't grow and progress as a person, or haven't done so yet. I've made many stupid mistakes in my life, and you better believe I wish I could have learned the lessons I did in another way. However, in a lot of ways I think I have learned life lessons by observing as well (i.e. Ya know when a girl "waits" for a missionary, and then 98% of the time one of them change their mind about the other within the next 2 years? Yeah, I gathered enough statistics to dodge that crap-fest. Its all about setting the correct expectations.)



I guess this can be good, like, I'm a HUGE worry wart..but the only person I knew to say this quote was the laziest person ever. So I don't like it.

Stress.

Saturday night, I had a meltdown. Unfortunately it was in front of about 15 peers of mine that I highly respect.

I'll explain, you see. I received a text 3 weeks ago from my friend's husband inviting me to a surprise birthday party for his wife! Aw! What can I bring! I'd love to bring a salad!
OK, be there at 7:30.

(Now I thought to myself, "Self, do not be late.")

Well. We were late.

We are "those people" that are late to EVERYTHING. Last time I was on time to church? Couldn't tell ya, but good thing it isn't a temple recommend question: Do you do your best to be on time to church?

Anyway, I ask friend's husband (who is also my friend too) if he wants us to wait in the car til after she gets there so we don't spoil the surprise. He says yes, wait. So I say "Ok, let me know when we can come in". Kaius and Monroe wake up because we stop, and start with the whining and crying. 10 minutes waiting in the car goes by. I text him again and say "Wheres this chick at??" no answer. Another 10 minutes goes by and by this time Kaius is screaming bloody murder (Why...oh, my Mom said he had a poopy diaper before we left. I didn't change it, did you change it babe? aw crap.) So we drive down the road out of visual range, and change his diaper. I then text "Hey is your phone off? Cuz my kids are havin' a meltdown and I need an update" no answer. I'm thinking this poor guy is stressed to the max trying to carry out his master plan of doing something sweet for his wife, and he probably isn't looking at his phone, or he is WITH her and doesn't want his phone blowing up.
Plus, this is what we get for being late. Josh and I kept saying that. Its all our fault.
Then next 10 minutes I spend looking up white pages trying to look up her house phone number so I can call the party to see whats up. I found it! oh fax number. I don't have ANYONES number that would be at that party?? Oh, BRAD!
dialing....Hi is Brad there?
"No. This is NOT Brad's phone anymore."
Woops, sorry buddy.
After a half hour of waiting I just run to the house, stealth style. Knock on the door and I see everyone is having a lovely meal. Real cool, friend's husband, real cool. He realizes he forgot to send me the text to come in and I see how sorry he is. I could see it on his face, he feels so bad. I say its not his fault, but say we have to leave because I'm too stressed out. The chin starts trembling and I jet off back to the car. Total diva style.

Josh and I talked..why am I so stressed out? Oh yeah. Cuz I am lacking some serious Zumba in my life. I used to go every day of the week, but since we moved, I haven't found a class I like. I'm picky. Kaius is in his terrible twos....WAY bad right now. Its like he has a goal to make me raise my voice at him. He likes me to yell at him. I give him TONS of positive attention and CANDY when he does something awesome. Which is, like, currency in our house. Remember that facebook status "AAAAH TODDLER FOR SALE!!" (which was just a joke, CPS) its because he pretty much landed on Monroe's face with his elbow. He gets frustrated and hits us or bites us. Whatever, bottom line, I need a freakin break. A daily break to go exercise and be away from the crazies.

My lovely sister Jana invited me a week ago or so to come to California to get certified to be a Zumba instructor. Josh and I decided last night, we're gunna do it. He said if it makes me happy, do it. He said "I am pro-you being happy".
So, we booked our flight (our only and last chance EVER to have both kids on a flight with us, for FREEEEEEEEEEEEE since they are both under 2. Kaius will turn 2 like a week after we get back.

Oh, and its with Gina Grant, who is a big celebrity I guess in the Zumba world!




All my Zumba girls were jealous, anyway.
I'm pumped!!!