Epic Deer Watcher

We went to Steamboat Springs, CO for a getaway with some friends (which was amazing, and deserves its own post) and we were driving back this morning at 6 am. It was still dark and Josh was on full deer patrol. He is pretty amazing at pointing them out, I even informed the couple that was riding with us. Well, it was the girls and Kaius in the back (and we were all asleep), and the boys in the front chatting. We were going 70 and came up over a hill...to find THIS waiting for us.

But, pretend they are lined up across the highway, not grass.
No Joke, there were this many.
And as soon as humanly possible, Josh had the brake pedal to the floor and the tires screeeeeeeeched against the pavement, which immediately got the deers' attention (and the backseat passengers). They all started to dart right, except the one on the far left. He darted left. Which gave us a tiny gap, that I was sure our car wouldn't fit through. Josh swerved last second and made the teeny gap (which was probably on the opposite direction of traffic, luckily there were no cars) And as soon as we were in the clear, we all broke out the praises.
"That was AMAZING, Josh!"
"Wow, good job, Josh, I wouldn't have known what to do. I would have gone straight into them."
"me too. How did you do that???"
"Good thing we said a prayer before we left"
"Dude, that was like, video game good."
"Josh, I am thoroughly impressed. that was the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed."

You get the idea. He's irreplaceable.

Kaius' Current Obsession

This iPad commercial.

On time he was sleeping on Josh's lap and this commercial came on and he immediately shot up (eyes still closed) and started dancing, swaying back and forth. Josh started laughing really hard, cuz it was hilarious, and Kaius slowly opened his eyes. After the commercial was over he went back to sleep.
I finally found it on youtube because I couldnt remember if it was ipod, ipad, droid, whatever. Its been on repeat for a while...and he's not getting sick of it yet.

Giving Birth Analogy

Pregnancy...you pee on the stick, you find out the gender. Its all so exciting. The weeks tick by...and you know when you get to around 40 weeks...in order to get your baby, you're gunna have to go down a dark alley

and meet a big scary guy and he is going to punch you in the face. You don't want to get punched in the face, but it just has to happen to get the baby out.

Just because this is my second child, and I have experienced pushing for 2 hours, and a c-section once, doesn't mean that when it happens again with this next baby that its less scary. I still have to go meet the man, and he's still gunna have to punch me in the face.

I think I'm actually more scared this time around, cuz my uterus has been cut open before! The risks! VBAC or another C-section? Im not even deciding until the end. But either way will leave a mark! ah!

Addicted to Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers

For about 2 weeks I have been feeling the baby move around. But within the last few days, he/she has been poking out of my belly!
According to the internet, the baby is only about 3 inches long, so it must be the whole body sticking out! It happens when I go to Zumba and when I lay down to sleep at night. Today I am 13 weeks. That's crazy early to be feeling what I am, right? I know you can feel the baby earlier and earlier with each pregnancy, but first time I felt Kaius move, I was 17 weeks!

That's pretty much all I have to report. My morning sickness was done at 12 weeks, so I had to have my girl Cammie & her husband Malan over for the famous p-dub steak sandwiches. I can cook again!!!

:(

I went through my blog archives to see when the exact date my morning sickness was over last time. But I guess I didnt document that well enough. cuz I wrote "i dont know if my morning sickness is over today, cuz i have a bad migrane"

I haven't had a clean house in over 2 months. I have cooked maybe three meals in that two months. I've changed our bedsheets ONCE in the last 2 months. I usually do it once a week.

I've only been out of the house a few times (other than going to Zumba...which is pretty hard to get my lazy A to anyway)

That means I dont take Kaius anywhere or do anything fun. We play together in the living room but i would like to take him to the park and things.

I don't know how many times I've stopped at Arby's for curly fries. I dont know how many Wendy's stops I've made. Before this I rarely ate out.

On a more positive note:
No more BREASTFEEDING!!!! yahoo!!!!

(-side note-ya know those women who are super sad about stopping, cuz they are emotionally attached and will miss it? yeah, not one of those women. For me, it was the most healthy thing and it was free. I did it until it was recommended, which I guess is longer than most make it)

I quit about a month ago. Kaius began to like whole milk more and more, so I went down to twice a day, and then once a day, and the zero times a day.
Ever since then, he's sleeping through the night. and, AND he is cuddling with me way way way way more now. today he cuddled with me for like an hour on the couch. I loved it.

He knows how to kiss now (its still open mouthed but he totally leans in and has a sweet look on his face) and responds to a lot of things I say.
If I ask him to, he will point to his belly, his teeth/mouth, and sometimes he can get his nose. Every time I ask where his bum bum is, he says "bum bum bum..." And we are working on colors too.
Oh and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, Josh gets up with him. Its great. But i dont think i can physically get up.

Best Invention Ever

A girl in my babycenter group told me about these...

GUMMY PRENATAL VITAMINS.

I was skeptical at first, thinking they must be gross.

Well, I figured they are worth a shot, since I absolutely DREAD taking the pills. Everyone dreads taking them. They taste like garbage and the taste is left in your mouth. And every once in a while when you throw it up...you're traumatized and never want to take them again.
I will admit, I have skipped days because I would just put it off.

Well, these gummies are SO good. They are super soft and tasty. A bit pricey, but a lot worth it. They don't have iron in them though. But I'm not worried about it.
If you are pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant, you gotta get these! They are sold at Target and Costco. $11 for 90 gummies, and you take 2 a day. So each bottle will last 45 days.

Josh tried one and keeps trying to sneak them!

our AMAZING news

So I've been worried for the last week that I might be having a miscarriage. I'm 10 weeks along. So I called the dr. and they had me come in to check my HCG levels. Then 48 hours check them again, to make sure they double. They said they would call me Monday morning with the results.

This morning at 11:45 I still hadn't heard from them, so I called them. They said they had the results but hadn't had the chance to review them yet, so they'll get back to me. An hour later they called.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your HCG levels were supposed to double, and they went down 20,000. You are most likely having a miscarriage. We will have you come in tomorrow to determine whether you will need to take medication or have a D & C to avoid an infection in your uterus."

"is there a chance I'm not having a miscarriage?" I ask through tears.

"At this point, its not likely," She states regretfully, "I'm so sorry I just don't want to give you any false hope."

I say goodbye through sobs and hang up the phone.

I immediately text my friends and family members who have been supporting me through this to let them know the bad news. I'm crying right now because I remember so well the pure grief I was going through.
I pulled myself together to call my sweet husband. But the sobbing continued and he said he would come right home to be with me.

I was thinking, 'This is not how it was supposed to be. Kaius was supposed to have a sibling close in age. that was our plan. For the last 2 months I've done nothing but sit on the couch and watch TV. My house is a pig sty. I haven't cooked in 2 months. Josh has done so much to take care of me and Kaius. Feeding us. Getting me food when I need/want it. Giving me massages whenever I want.
Did all of that go to waste? Is this my fault? Do I not take very good care of myself? It is all my fault.'

It was about at that point when I got another call from the dr's assistant, "I forgot to tell you why there is a chance why it may not be a miscarriage."
(oh REALLY? You also forgot to tell me there was a chance at all.)
"You're just over 10 weeks right?"
yes...
"Well its about at that point that your HCG levels off and evens out and can decrease..."
Thats basically it, I'll spare you the other intimate details.
I looked online a little bit and basically it said HCG levels aren't always accurate to tell you whether your pregnancy is viable or not. Everyone is different. Not everyone doubles every 48 hours.

After I read that, I told Josh "That makes me a little bit mad. I don't think I had a miscarriage! I think they will find a heartbeat."
He said he hopes they do too.

Before the appointment I was unusually chipper. I wasn't worried about it.
After about 3 minutes of her looking for the heartbeat with the doppler (and hearing my slow heartbeat a few times), she decided to go a little bit higher and *swoosh*swoosh*swoosh* went that baby's heartbeat. Tears filled my eyes and I don't remember a time feeling as much joy (yes I do, when I heard Kai's heartbeat the first time...and his first cry)
She said "You must be further along than we thought!! The baby is pretty high!"
We were so excited she turned on the ultrasound machine and she showed Josh and I the little tiny flutter of the heart.

Thank you to those of you who knew about it for your prayers and support. It would have been hard without you guys.
She told me when we were leaving that now that everything is ok after all that happened, the chances of me miscarrying are less than 3%. Super stoked! Baby #2 is on the way!!!!!