Monday, September 20, 2010

our AMAZING news

So I've been worried for the last week that I might be having a miscarriage. I'm 10 weeks along. So I called the dr. and they had me come in to check my HCG levels. Then 48 hours check them again, to make sure they double. They said they would call me Monday morning with the results.

This morning at 11:45 I still hadn't heard from them, so I called them. They said they had the results but hadn't had the chance to review them yet, so they'll get back to me. An hour later they called.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your HCG levels were supposed to double, and they went down 20,000. You are most likely having a miscarriage. We will have you come in tomorrow to determine whether you will need to take medication or have a D & C to avoid an infection in your uterus."

"is there a chance I'm not having a miscarriage?" I ask through tears.

"At this point, its not likely," She states regretfully, "I'm so sorry I just don't want to give you any false hope."

I say goodbye through sobs and hang up the phone.

I immediately text my friends and family members who have been supporting me through this to let them know the bad news. I'm crying right now because I remember so well the pure grief I was going through.
I pulled myself together to call my sweet husband. But the sobbing continued and he said he would come right home to be with me.

I was thinking, 'This is not how it was supposed to be. Kaius was supposed to have a sibling close in age. that was our plan. For the last 2 months I've done nothing but sit on the couch and watch TV. My house is a pig sty. I haven't cooked in 2 months. Josh has done so much to take care of me and Kaius. Feeding us. Getting me food when I need/want it. Giving me massages whenever I want.
Did all of that go to waste? Is this my fault? Do I not take very good care of myself? It is all my fault.'

It was about at that point when I got another call from the dr's assistant, "I forgot to tell you why there is a chance why it may not be a miscarriage."
(oh REALLY? You also forgot to tell me there was a chance at all.)
"You're just over 10 weeks right?"
yes...
"Well its about at that point that your HCG levels off and evens out and can decrease..."
Thats basically it, I'll spare you the other intimate details.
I looked online a little bit and basically it said HCG levels aren't always accurate to tell you whether your pregnancy is viable or not. Everyone is different. Not everyone doubles every 48 hours.

After I read that, I told Josh "That makes me a little bit mad. I don't think I had a miscarriage! I think they will find a heartbeat."
He said he hopes they do too.

Before the appointment I was unusually chipper. I wasn't worried about it.
After about 3 minutes of her looking for the heartbeat with the doppler (and hearing my slow heartbeat a few times), she decided to go a little bit higher and *swoosh*swoosh*swoosh* went that baby's heartbeat. Tears filled my eyes and I don't remember a time feeling as much joy (yes I do, when I heard Kai's heartbeat the first time...and his first cry)
She said "You must be further along than we thought!! The baby is pretty high!"
We were so excited she turned on the ultrasound machine and she showed Josh and I the little tiny flutter of the heart.

Thank you to those of you who knew about it for your prayers and support. It would have been hard without you guys.
She told me when we were leaving that now that everything is ok after all that happened, the chances of me miscarrying are less than 3%. Super stoked! Baby #2 is on the way!!!!!

13 comments:

Rachel said...

That is so awesome! People can be so ridiculous sometimes. I had my ultrasound tech tell me things that were so not her place to say considering she is just a tech and not a Doctor. I think once they are around pregnant women all day they seem to lose empathy.
You are such an awesome mommy, those babies are lucky to have you.

Madalyn said...

O my gosh! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Glad to hear you're doing well now! I hope baby grows big and fast!

tricia said...

You are a supermom. I am so happy for you that everything is perfect. There is nothing harder than facing losing a babe.
I am glad you are having babies close together because when they turn out as cute as Kaius you should really be giving birth every nine months.
Congratulations!

Ang and Shawn said...

awww. what a happy ending to a horrible nightmare! I can't imagine going through all of that. I'm so glad everything is okay. Good luck with everything!!!

ps i love that you are having a sibling close in age for kaius. I hope that i can have 2 close together someday too

Alicia said...

Oh girly I am so sorry for you to have to go through that and on my sad day. You are not supposed to have one of those.
Steve and I are so excited for you both!! We will still have you in our prayers and I am so happy you got to hear that little heartbeat today!!! Congrats!!!

Bradley, DeAnna, and Donovan said...

As if pregnancy isn't emotional enough!! I can't imagine hearing all of that, I would be heartbroken. I'm really glad it all worked out. Hearing that first heartbeat always brings so much joy and relief! Congratulations!!

Jessy and Adam Baird said...

Oh Carly I am so happy for you guys!!

jayni & ben said...

congrats. i am soooo excited for you guys. that is just so dang fun.

Sarah said...

CONGRATS!

Jana said...

I can honestly say I know exactly how you felt, it took me about 6 months to feel the joy part though, but I feel ya. :)
Glad everythig is ok.
Love you, Carls.

Cammie said...

Love you Carly! I'm so excited for you guys! Let me know if you ever want a babysitter :)

Jeana said...

congrats!

ChotZ said...

Congrats! Glad everything is ok. :)