My Husband Thinks I'm Crazy

Getting ready to put Kaius down for the night tonight, ya know, getting myself situated to feed him. Josh says "Shouldn't you be done with that?"
"Done with what..breastfeeding?!" I am shocked, Josh is usually very supportive with all things baby. He helped take care of young siblings growing up.
He nods. "You are gunna still breastfeed him with all those TEETH?"
We just noticed Kai's top 2 teeth are coming in, so paired with the 2 bottom teeth, if he ever bites me he can actually draw blood. yay! But they usually learn how NOT to hurt you.
"Yes...I'll probably b/f him....until our next baby"
He gives me this "you're nuts" look and raises his eyebrows.
So I ask "What, you don't think thats a good ide-" "No." He interrupts me with.

Oh man I laughed pretty hard. Guess you had to be there.

Reflecting

I wish I didn't worry about life so much. I usually really don't. I'm frugal. I don't worry about extra stuff in life, such as getting my nails done, or going out to dinner. I can cook just as good as they can, for much cheaper. I like to think of myself as industrious...no thats not the right word...Frugal is really just it. I think its one of my most valuable qualities.
Lately I've been letting myself stress a little bit. Car trouble, losing a $10 at the grocery store, more car trouble, and more car trouble.

I havent looked at these pictures in a while



And this one, gave me butterflies.



And this one...reminded me of how well I am taken care of. Josh takes such good care of me and Kaius. Heavenly Father has taken care of us as well. Our needs are met and....that's all we need.

It also reminds me of all the times Josh would wait on me hand and foot when I was pregnant. Cafe Rio? coming right up. Back rub? right after I finish this song on guitar hero ;)

And those long hours before we both heard Kaius cry for the first time. He was so loving, caring, & attentive. We made a great team.

It was good for me to see these pictures. Refreshing.

Make sure the person you love knows how you feel. Today.

What I am Grateful for

I just wanna start out by saying ever since I did that post about removing captcha's so its easier to leave a comment, cuz i've never gotten spam comments....well, I have gotten 3 since then. Stupid spammers tryin to make me look stupid.

1. I am grateful for the time on this Earth I was born.
I don't have to wash my clothes on a washboard (aka, Josh's stomach) and dry them outside on a line with clothespins. I can take a warm shower every day if I want, and I don't have to make the water warm myself.
If I want to talk to a friend I can call, send a text, or facebook, instead of send a telegram and wait 6 months to hear back (or somethin)

2. I am grateful I was born into such a modern society.
I wasn't born to some African tribe in the middle of nowhere speaking a tongue click language. I live in a place where I can go to college if I want, go to the doctor if I'm sick..etc.

3. I am grateful to be born into an LDS family.
I grew up knowing what happens when we die, and our ultimate goal in life is to keep the commandments so that we can live with Heavenly Father in the Celestial Kingdom. Our cars, diamond wedding ring, shoes, designer handbags, and private jets are not coming with us to heaven. We will only take with us our knowledge and our families if we are sealed to them.

4. I am grateful to have a happy marriage.
Josh and I decided to tie the knot after only dating for a month, but while "courting" we spent a lot of sleepless nights just talking. We prayed about it and knew it was right. Josh is such a great husband and he does so much for me. But I am a lucky girl. Sometimes it doesn't always go as planned for everyone.

5. I am grateful that I have a warm bed (or cool bed) to sleep in every night.
I know I take for granted all the time what I have. Any day we could have a earthquake and lose everything. I remember one day growing up the hot water heater wasnt working and I had to take a cold shower. You don't realize how great something is until you go without it.

6. I am grateful for the chance I have to be a mother at this stage of my life.
I have quite a few close friends who aren't able to have children right away. I have no idea what to say to them. I try to empathize but sound like a complete moron. I wish the adoption process wasn't so rough. I want so bad for them to experience motherhood. I have every confidence they will someday. I pray for them lots and lots.
I probably sounded moron-ish during that last paragraph. I don't think I know how to express how I feel about it accurately, or something. My heart breaks for them but I don't know what to say.

Check THIS out

Josh in his college days....Halloween '05. So I had just graduated high school. And hadn't met him yet. But I just found this gem in his external hard drive.


ow OW.

Rough Coupl'a Days

I usually really can't find too much to complain about in my life. I'm super lucky to have such good health in my family, food, cars, a place to live, etc...so maybe at the end of the post I will try to post some things I'm grateful for.

Few days ago after a dentist visit, and the numbness wore off and my mouth started to hurt, I took a few ibuprofen. Next day, I took 2 more because Kaius knocked over our tall lamp

and my nose happened to break its fall. It cracked me out of nowhere, it seemed. I was stunned. As soon as I realized what happened, I couldn't help it...I took it personally. The little guy didn't mean to hurt me, but I started crying and my nose started flowing.







No major damage though, just a bump and a bruise on the ole schnoz. (Kaius doesn't really react at all when I cry, it seems he kind of ignores it)
Well, I guess breastfeeding mothers aren't supposed to take ibuprofen because it zaps their milk supply. That would explain the biting and the nap strikes. This biting business has got to stop. He has teeth now.
I confessed to Josh that sometimes I don't really feel like Kaius likes me. I feel like the only thing I'm good for is getting food, but he would rather do everything with daddy.
Its just been a rough few days. Im sure in a few days I'll be swooning over how cute he is again.

Man oh man is he cute.
The way when he once in a blue moon finds my phone and I give him a surprised "hey!" and he jumps about a mile in the air and drops the phone cuz he knows that's a no-no.
The way he mauls my face sometimes with slobber, I like to think of it as kisses.
I love how expressive he is, and I get told probably once a day that my baby is very expressive, or gives very funny facial expressions. I guess I thought all babies were like that.
I love when he sees a new person or toy or when we go outside, he waves. And I always respond with "Hi (so & so)" or "hi new toy!" or "Hello outdoors!" and join him in waving.
I love when he comes around the corner of the hallway and "scares" me, then goes back around the corner so I can't see him, and then he'll crawl out again (playing peek-a-boo)
I love when he pulls the blanket over his head and after I say "Where's Kaius?" he'll pull the blanket off and giggle.
I love that he will eat any any anything I put in his mouth. tomatoes, onions, pickles, meat, toast, grapes, pineapple you name it.
Oh, well, there was this one time at my sisters I was eating a burrito and I gave him what I thought was a bite with avocado...I could tell from the sudden crying, that it was a jalapeno. Those suck. He was fine as soon as it was out.

I feel better.

wits end.

Its been good to see family here in California, but this roadtrip has been hell.
We drove to Reno to spend the night there. 5 minutes away and I can see the city and that McDonalds catches up to me. I'll spare you the details, but I kept saying "this is worse than labor contractions!!" over and over. I ordered Josh to run in to the Motel 6 to see if they have a bathroom I can use NOW. Not ASAP, NOW. And if they dont, take me somewhere else. We had already stopped at 2 gas stations, and Kaius would scream til Josh took him out of the carseat...and absolutely melted down when we'd have to strap him back in. I wanted to end the meltdowns.

The guy in front of Josh in line at Motel 6 could tell Josh was in a major hurry because he was pacing and what not...so he let him ahead. He gave the office lady his ID and said "My wife needs to get into a room asap, its an emergency, she is sick." so she looks at her computer a sec (I'm now inside with Kaius...I can't wait any longer. About to leave a mess on their floor.)
and she says "You're not registered here" And Josh is like "Yeah, i know, REGISTER ME. I WANT A ROOM"
Im witnessing this with tears welling up because of the pain, and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off.
The crabby lady shoves his I.D. back at him and says, "Im taking care of this guy first! He was ahead of you!"
and right as soon as we say "he let us ahead" the stupid guy says "Oh I didnt know that was why you wanted ahead of me, I thought you already had a room"
The crabby office lady keeps chiming in "Go somewhere else!"
Josh is like "MY WIFE IS SICK!! You dont have any compassion on a sick woman??"
"WELL...MY WIFE IS SICK TOO" He replies. I don't think he was lying...he had angry tears welling up so I bet she has cancer or something, but not i-need-a-bathroom-now-or-i-will-shoot-you kind of sick. We saw her chillin in their truck. She was very comfortable.

Josh is like "really? she is sick and cant wait 2 more minutes to get a room?"


and the office lady says "Im calling the police!!!"

wha?? you're calling the police...on us? a cute little mormon couple from Utah? the husband is wearing a BYU shirt and the wife has a baby on her hip crying and you're gunna what?

Josh just told them they were crazy and we walked out.

Next motel we rushed to luckily had no one in line, and she took a whole 2 minutes to register us. I tell you what, if we would have made it into that motel room a HOT MINUTE LATER than we did, I would not have made it.


OK. DAY 2 of Vacation from HELL.

On our way to my dads and the car breaks down in Sacramento. it takes 3 hours to get the car towed and get a rental car. is that a normal timeframe? I dunno, I've never done this sort of thing before.

They called and said it was fixed so Josh went to pick it up this morning, and drop off the rental car. He got a few miles away on the freeway and the car did the same thing, it would stop accelerating, and then wont start. broke down. So he got towed and he is sitting at the dealership.
He was supposed to be back by now and we were going to go see Eclipse.

Kaius wouldnt go down for a nap, just fussing for hours all day and just FINALLY went down for a nap.

I am now rocking in the fetal position in the corner with a bag of oreos i found in my step mom's cabinet and my eye is twitching. Yep, I'm at my wits end.